The No Commitment Way ...
To make a commitment!
Posted by Steffi Lewis on 01/04/2013
Have you ever though you'd like to change something about yourself but that ''forever'' is such a long time and that you could never make a commitment as long as that? I may just have a solution for you ...
not putting your hand in a fire is a good behaviour learned at an early age by everyone
Behaviours are ingrained in us from a very early age. "Don't put your hand in the fire", "clear your plate" and "look left & right before crossing the road" are some drilled into us during childhood. A lot of them make sense, but we also develop new ones at every stage of our lives. When we do something for the first time and it results in us getting what we want, then we are likely to use it again and again to get the same result and thus it becomes part of us.
Some Psychology studies show that behaviours are all we are and that we don't actually have consciousness let alone free will - which is more a theological debate so we won't touch on that here. It's something quite interesting to think about though.
We create the world around us through our behaviours and sometimes this can be for the good or bad of ourselves, those around us and the world in general. A heavy drinker may say "I have a great time when I drink" but it may unknowingly be hurting those people closest to them. We need to think about the "ecology" of our behaviours and then change them so that they give a positive outcome for all, not just us. If a particular behaviour works for you but hurts those around you then that behaviour is "self serving" and therefore not ecologically sound, isn't it?
I'm not a therapist in any way shape or form so I couldn't tell you what behaviours are good for you and those that aren't - but you just know don't you? It's that gut feeling - that intuition - that tells you when you're doing something good or bad. Sometimes it's those closest to you that will let you know and it's your duty to listen to what they're saying. Easier said than done sometimes hey?
So why not try this ... a 30-Day Trial. Or a 7-Day Trial if it's something particularly difficult in your opinion. Give yourself a set period of time, starting and ending on specific dates to change a behaviour. This could be anything at all and here are a few examples:
giving up smoking
cut down on your drinking
stop eating junk food
say I love you every day to those you care about
do more exercise
eat your evening meal with your family every night
spend more time with the kids in general
get up earlier
go to bed earlier
read a book rather than watch television all night
These are just a few behaviours that you can change and, of course, you're going to have a whole load more that you could change about yourself don't you? Ecologically, some of them result in positive outcomes and some are negative. What would you like to change about yourself starting today then?
Just don't beat yourself up if you break your trial as some things are really hard to do! Just reset it to the next morning and try again with renewed effort and a new time frame. The important thing is that you give it a go and keep on until you succeed.
And don't try to do too many at once either. I was incredibly ill and spent time in hospital recently. Whilst I was physically recovering from that I also had to deal with the loss of my closest friend as well. I tried to eat better, be grateful for my life every day, spend a lot more time with my friends and give up smoking but failed on the last one because it was just too much to do in one go. I don't feel bad about smoking again - in fact it has benefited me by calming me down and dispelling a lot of emotional turmoil - so I'll schedule another 30-day trial when I'm ready and not before. The other things are going well I'm pleased to say.
30-day trials have been around the IT world for years and it was Steve Pavlina that originally alerted me to their power as this well known Personal Development Guru used to be a software developer and offered them to his clients. I do the same with sblogit.com when people want to try business blogging.
Why not think about a behaviour that is no longer serving you, or a new behaviour you'd like to "install" into yourself? What benefits would it bring to you, those around you and the world in general? The ecology of what you change is very important and should result in a positive outcome for all.
30-day trials are known in personal development circles as the "no commitment way to making a commitment" so what's stopping you from changing one of your behaviours today and feeling great about your achievements by next month? Let me know how you get on!